And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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