Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
