she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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