i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
