"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
