so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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