forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
