Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
