the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
