we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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