Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
