I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
tequila makes me forget i have legs
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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