woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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