Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
