I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
