I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
