So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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