stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
