I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
