I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
