Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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