Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
is this the sara with the beer cane?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
