He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
