i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
