I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
