the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
