took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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