Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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