Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
