Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
