He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
