I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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