Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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