There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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