you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
