You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
4 words: hood of his car
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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