i already hear my dad disowning me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
