yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
