So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My dad just said "fuck circus"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
