my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
