Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
