I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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