the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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