Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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