I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
