If that was your dad, he is hot
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
