Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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