Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
