put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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