please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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