I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
