Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
