i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
