Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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