I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
